We Can Do More Than Survive, We Can THRIVE!

The past several years have been challenging, but we survived. Political chaos and COVID-19 interrupted our normal routines and caused many of us to put our lives on hold. This is still a relatively new year, and we can do more than survive.  It’s time we take back control of our lives and THRIVE.  Although not always an easy thing to do, we must seek to find peace of mind and fulfilment in all that we strive to do.  To THRIVE means different things to different people. For me, I THRIVE when I experience success in the pursuit of my dreams, goals, and aspirations and complete whatever I start.  Others may view THRIVE as finding balance and stability in their mental, physical, social, and spiritual development.  There are also people who equate their ability to THRIVE to the attainment of material possessions.  No matter how one gauges their effectiveness to THRIVE, it comes down to having the right mindset.  I would like to offer that it can be difficult to find peace of mind and fulfilment without a sense of emotional stability, personal accomplishment, productiveness, and gratitude in your life.

Emotional Stability

Emotional stability plays an important role in our ability to THRIVE.  We must control our thoughts and emotions.  The act of living brings many twist and turns, but we must keep moving forward.  In the story Fences, the character Troy, a former baseball pitcher, would say, “you have to take the crooked with the straight and keep swinging.”  We cannot afford to allow negative thoughts to dominate our thinking. We can eliminate negative thoughts by changing our perspective of the situation.  Negative thoughts often arise from deeply held beliefs that trigger certain reactions in us. An unforeseen incident or event can turn our world upside down, if left unchecked.  The loss of a loved one, illness, job loss, or failed relationship can bring on a  sense of hopelessness and despair. Its normal to react to these unexpected situations because of how they make us feel, but we must not allow them to control us.  Failure to control our thoughts only empowers external forces to determine our responses to the situation.  We have the power to overcome negative situations by controlling our thoughts. Ask yourself what is the lesson to be learned or the assignment to be carry out.

 Accomplishment

It is difficult to THRIVE if you sit around and allow the world to pass you by.   We must work towards the accomplishment of our desired goals every day.  We must set realistic goals that are doable and achievable within a set timeframe.  The successful accomplishment of at least one task each day will bring you closer to whatever you desire.  Remember as the old saying goes, “Don’t put off for tomorrow that which can be done today.”  No matter how we feel, we must get up and do something every day.  The feeling of success from achieving a small thing will do wonders to motivate you keep you going forward to achieve bigger things.  This requires us to live each day with purpose and intent.  Do a little bit here and a little bit there, before you know it, you will have accomplished a lot.  The successful achievement of each goal will bring a great feeling of accomplishment and self-worth.  The more we accomplish, the more we  will believe in our ability to get things done. 

Productiveness

To THRIVE requires us to use our time wisely.  We cannot blame our failure to get things done on lack of time.  We all have 24 hours a day, 168 hours a week, 720 hours a month, and 8,760 hours a year to get things done. How we spend our time will have a major impact on how we live. The people who make the best use of their time are far more likely to find success in whatever they do.  Remember, nothing from nothing gives nothing.  We must put in the time and effort if we expect something in return.  I believe they call it work.  We must avoid engaging in self-destructive behavior.  It’s okay to have fun but too much fun is counter productive.  We must maintain balance in use of our time.  This requires a great amount of self-discipline and focus.  Don’t be distracted by opportunities that seem too good to be true.  There are no short cuts to success.    It is critical that we use our time effectively to be as productive as possible 24/7. 

 Gratitude

The expression of gratitude is the foundation in our quest to THRIVE.  There is something to be grateful for every day of our lives.  It’s easy to focus on what seems to be going wrong or what we wish we had.  We must be thankful for the opportunities that enable us to learn and grow, and the support we receive from others.  We must also show an appreciation for what has happened or is happening in our lives, whether big or small, good or bad.  It is important that we find pleasure in every step along the journey to reach our full potential.  A simple expression of gratitude enables us to keep a positive outlook no matter the outcome.  Gratitude can also help us stay focused during the most difficult of times.  Life is not always going to be easy, but with the right attitude we have a chance to succeed at achieving our goals.  We should start each day with a spirit of gratitude for another opportunity to participate in the arena of life.

This is your year to THRIVE.  Forget about what happened or did not happen over the past several years.  Use the time and upcoming months to create the life you desire.  Remember this anonymous saying, “Our eyes are in front because it’s better to look ahead than to look back.  Don’t dwell on negative situations from the past.  Learn from them and keep moving forward.” 

THRIVE!

Written by Dr. RL Kight for Mind Power Solutions.  Visit www.mindpowersolutions.com to learn more about our personal development and training services.

You Create Your Breaks

Are you one of those unhappy people because life hasn’t unfolded the way you would like? You see others around you enjoying the so call good life.  All their hopes and dreams appear to come true, but you never seem to get a break. In spite of the daily hustle and grind, your dreams remain just that – dreams.  Maybe it’s time to get up and do something different. 

You cannot afford to sit around waiting for your breaks to come.  It just doesn’t happen that way; successful people create their breaks.  While you need not take on the whole world at once, it is on you to do something every day to propel yourself closer to making your desires a reality. I am sure you have heard the saying, “A thousand-mile journey begins with a single step”.  Even if planning to travel by bus, plane, car, or train these days, you must take the first step.  Each step will bring you nearer to your destination. 

Here are some suggestions that you may find helpful in your effort to create your breaks no matter the destination.

Get it done. Work on some aspect of making your dream come true every day.  Create a list of tasks you need to accomplish within a specific time frame.  No matter how big or small the task – get it done!  Set aside time on your schedule to complete them.  If not on your schedule, they are most likely not going to get done.  Out of sight, out of mind.  Keep what you want to achieve on the radar.

Eliminate false beliefs.  Self-imposed negative belief systems can become major obstacles to your desire to get more out of life. Beliefs such as “I don’t have what it takes”, “I don’t have enough money to get started”, “they won’t let me” or “the time isn’t right” will only hold you hostage to low expectations; limiting your ability to rise to the next level.  These beliefs are often the results of our upbringing, culture, and experiences.  Remember, nothing can prevent your dreams from coming true, but you.

Take a chance.  To reach the next level requires courage.  Opportunities are all around you if you are willing to step into the unknown.  There are no guarantees in life, so you must have confidence in what you want to accomplish.  I recently listened to Sylvester Stallone talk about how he turned down $300,000 for the rights to his screenplay to the first Rocky film when he was so broke that he had to sell his beloved dog.  We are all aware of his success story many years later.  You can play it safe and watch life pass you by or you can overcome your fears and step into the unknown. 

Tune out the noise.  You must be mentally tough to pursue your dreams until they become real.  There will be self-doubt and doubters all round you.  You will experience setbacks that make you call your decisions into question.  These are the times in which you must tune out the voices in your head telling you to, “quit now”, “you don’t have what it takes” or “you will never make it”.  We all hear these voices at one time or another.  It’s only a test to determine how serious you are about reaching your goals.  Don’t become distracted by them and stay focused.   

Stay in the game. You cannot win sitting on the side lines.  Success requires that you stay into the game of life and compete.  Don’t let the ups and downs of life discourage you.  Yes, the rules of engagement will often change, but don’t let that scare you from the competition.  Life demands that you be flexible and embrace the changes.  You win some and lose some; keep showing up ready to compete.  To stay in the game requires a high level of self-confidence.  Therefore, you must believe in your ability to compete and win.     

Work on your craft.  Success is often the result of many hours, days, and years of preparation for just the right moment. It requires that you work on your craft and sharpen your skills to be ready.  You never know how and when the right opportunity is going to come your way.  What might appear to be a small act could turn out to be a life changing event.  You never know who might be watching or how one moment will transform into something greater.  Luck only leads to success when preparation meets opportunity.  

Make an investment. Nothing in life is free.  Anything worth having has a cost. You must be willing to invest a significant amount of your time and resources to achieve your dreams.  Only you can determine the amount of effort and energy required to reach your desired destination. If what you’re doing now is not producing desired results, it’s not enough.  Do whatever it takes to achieve success.   

 I leave you with these final words of encouragement. Dare to dream on and expect to succeed.  Don’t get caught up in self-imposed limitations. Think big and work hard to create your breaks. As you travel the road to success, I hope you discover that the impossible has just become a little bit more possible.  Your breaks are waiting for you.

 Written by Dr. RL Kight for Mind Power Solutions.  Visit www.mindpowersolutions.com to learn more about our personal development and training services.

No More Excuses – Do It Now!

The great scientist, Dr. George Washington Carver said, “ninety-nine percent of failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.  People get stuck in the life style of living for tomorrow because they accept their own excuses for not taking action.  Inaction is one of the main reasons that people fail to live better and more fulfilling lives.  If you're stuck in the “do It later” mindset, make up your mind to stop making excuses.

 If you've been making excuses for putting things off, it is now time to take charge of your life.  Think about all the things you've been delaying -at work, at home, in your personal relationships, or for your personal development.  Make a list.

Now choose one thing on that list that you can do something about now. Write down every excuse you've given yourself for not having done anything about it yet.  Ask yourself if you have considered all the consequences for not getting it done.  Are you prepared to live with them?  Do you have a genuine reason for putting off this task?

You must be honest about this self-assessment in order to have a break through.  Forget about what other people think; look in the mirror and ask the hard questions.  If you have a legitimate reason for delaying action in this area, move on to another item on the list.  Identify something that you can make happen now, simply by deciding to do it.  As the Nike slogan goes, “Just Do It”.  When you've completed this task successfully, your sense of accomplishment will motivate you to repeat this process with another item on your list.  

Successful people know that their accomplishments depend on two things: taking action and staying focused on their goals.  People who are successful in any situation or career have an ability to make things happen.  Most productive individuals create a legacy of being a doer because they develop certain traits.  To become a person of action and get all you want out of life, you must:

 ·       Know what you want.

·       Force yourself to take action.

·       Be willing to make mistakes and learn from them.

·       Stop making excuses!

Now take another look at your list and choose another project. Write down every excuse you've been giving yourself for not getting started, or for leaving it unfinished.  Put as many things on the list as you can think of. Now try to eliminate one excuse at a time.  Ask yourself hard questions: Why do I have to delay this task?  Is it necessary to go on postponing it?  If Oprah Winfrey was in my situation, would she postpone it?  What will happen if I keep putting this off?  If I keep putting this off, when will I get it done?  Can I get started on it now?  What part of the project could I complete now?  If I delay this task now, what other task will I tackle to make better use of my time?

As you eliminate your excuses, think of what you can do quickly to complete each task or project, and do it.  Writer Stephen King says, “Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.”   It is important to recognize what is holding you back from taking action and commit yourself to being more productive.  Make a decision to do it now!

Written by Dr. RL Kight for Mind Power Solutions

Creating A Life Road Map: A Vision for Success →

There is a quote by Lewis Carroll that says, “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.” Success is more than economic gains, titles, and degrees. Planning for success is about mapping out all the aspects of your life. It’s like taking a road trip, you need to define the specific details of the journey: origin, destination, vehicle, travel bags, landmarks, and route.

Origin:  Who you are

A road trip has a starting point. Your origin is who you are right now. Most people, when asked to introduce themselves, would say, “Hi, I’m Jane Doe and I am an engineer, working for the XX Company.” This does not tell you about who Jane is; it only tells you about her present occupation and accomplishment. To gain insights into yourself, you need to look closely at your beliefs, values, and principles aside from your economic, professional, cultural, and civil status.  You must also reflect on your experiences to give you an idea of your good and not-so-good traits, skills, knowledge, strengths, and weaknesses.  Doing so will help you find your true self. Many of us walk around as imposters of our true selves afraid to reveal our identity because of fear of not living up to the expectations of others or society.

Destination: A vision of who you want to be

“Who do want to be?”  It doesn’t matter where you started. This is your vision. I hope you haven’t lost sight of your vision. It is important that you know yourself so that you have a clearer idea of who you want to be; and the things you want to change whether they are attitudes, habits, or points of view. If you hardly know yourself, then your vision and targets for the future are also likely to be unclear. Your destination should cover all the aspects of your being: the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. The problem is that many of us are still trying to figure out who we want to be. Sooner or later we must be that which we desire to become. 

Vehicle: Your Mission

A vehicle is the means by which you can reach your destination. It can be compared to your mission or purpose in life. To an extent, your mission depends on what you know about yourself.  Your mission becomes what you live for each day. It’s your reason for being; gives you the motivation to fulfill your destiny regardless of the circumstances you face. We each have our own mission to take us to where we should go. Without it, we tend to wander from place to place.

Travel Bag: Your knowledge, skills, and attitude

Food, drinks, clothing, and other traveling necessities are contained in a travel bag. Applying this concept to your life map, you bring with you certain knowledge, skills, and attitudes. These determine your competence and help you in attaining your vision. Given such, there is a need for you to assess what knowledge, skills, and attitudes you have at present and what you need to gain along the way. This two-fold assessment will give you insights on your landmarks or measures of success. Don’t be afraid to repack if you discover that you lack the knowledge, skills, and proper attitude.  New opportunities always require us to replace or upgrade what’s in our travel bag.

Landmarks and Route: S.M.A.R.T. Goals

Landmarks confirm if you are on the right track while the route determines the travel time. Thus, in planning out your life roadmap, you also need to have landmarks and a route. These landmarks are your measures of success. These measures must be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound. Some you are probably reading this article feeling that you have bypassed your landmarks or traveled too far in the wrong direction.  It’s never too late to establish new landmarks and set out for a new destination. The journey is over only if you say it’s over.

Anticipate Turns, Detours, and Potholes

The purpose of a life roadmap is to minimize hasty and spur-of-the-moment decisions that can make you lose your way. But oftentimes our plans change along the way due to problems, delays, and other situations beyond our control. Like in any path, there are turns, detours, and potholes; however, we must anticipate them and adjust accordingly. If you should find yourself at a dead-end, do a quick U-turn or shift into reverse. Don’t sit there and panic. The only way to become unstuck if to take action to get back on track. It doesn’t matter if you are 18 or 81 years young a life roadmap will serve you well.

Visit www.mindpowersolutions.com and leave us a comment.

By Dr. Robert L Kight

Creating Effective and Meaningful Relationships

Society can be described as a web of relationships, which requires groups and individuals to collaborate and contribute to the achievement of a common goal. Relationships, where cooperation and respect are displayed, can make society (home, family, work, sport and play) a better place. This can only be achieved through effective and efficient relationships.

We are social beings and our well-being greatly depends on our ability to maintain meaningful relationships. It’s very unlikely that anyone can succeed by themselves.  On one hand, relationships of all kinds can be very delicate and require extra effort to maintain. On the other, a relationship can also be something that provides security and can be long lasting despite many challenges.

Building effective and lasting relationships is a necessity for several reasons. In both group or personal relationships, the success of those involved depends on how efficient and effective they interact with one another. It does not matter whether this involves marriages, family, work, or friends.

Understanding the other group or persons' feeling and position creates the foundation of an effective and efficient relationship. One of the best approaches to understanding what is important to another individual is to ask them what they want and listen to what they say. When the other person recognizes this, they would feel the importance given to them.

Effective and efficient relationships require us to openly express our feelings and positions on all matters relevant to the discussion. Assuming others understand our needs and give us what we need without asking for it is not a good approach to developing a good relationship. Spouses, friends, co-workers and/or managers don’t have a crystal ball to know what’s going on inside our head. Good relationships are built on honesty and transparency.

Respect is the key to a relationship.

To create an effective relationship, individuals must treat each other with respect.  We can show respect by listening to the other group or person and by trying sincerely to understand what they believe. You can also show respect to others by confirming that they add value and their point of view is are important to the process.

The opposite of respect is making judgments based on unfounded facts and prejudice. We must be mindful not to pass judgment based on our own experiences or perceptions. This is where empathy becomes important because we must be able to see the situation from the other person’s point of view.

Respect is a key step in building a great relationship. This means respecting yourself and respecting others. In most cases, the respect one gives is the respect one is most likely to receive.

Another key area in forming an effective relationship is to confront differences with others head-on. Differences between groups or people are quite interesting. For example, in a conversation where each group or person listens to the other, you often observe that each comes from a different perspective. The challenge is to find a way to work through these differences.

Work towards a win-win solution for both sides.

This can be done when at least one group or person acknowledges that the relationship is important. It requires them to exert more time, effort and energy to understand the other's needs and deal with it.  Should they fail, it will be gratifying to know that at least they tried.

Effectively listening and no pre-judging. This is important if groups and individuals are to understand each other.

Informal conversations are helpful for groups and individuals seeking to find common ground. This allows them to openly discuss underlying issues and concerns. They also tend to feel more relaxed making them think more clearly.

Create an atmosphere where the groups or individuals can express their feelings when they need to. If not, they will never be able to move beyond the surface conversations. This age of political correctness has a way of stifling a meaningful conversation of different perspectives. I always appreciated how my father and a co-worker (white) could openly discuss their views on race relations and continued to maintain a meaningful friendship. They didn’t always agree or attempt to change the others point of view.

When people fail to express whatever is on their mind or feelings, it can get in the way of building an effective relationship.

Groups and people should be mindful that certain things exist naturally but should be controlled in any dealings in any relationship.  Human nature is one. Some of the factors that impede relationship building is embedded in a history of stereotyping or mistrust, blaming the other person or group for a strained relationship, excluding the other groups or person’s feelings when focusing on a task, no clear and defined objectives, and roles and expectations of others in the relationship is unclear.

Effective relationships are important to living a balanced life. Resolving issues and problems right away is a must to further improve our relationships. We need others to reach our full potential. As they say, 'No man (person) is an Island'.

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