Power to Overcome Self-Doubt

Self-doubt is something we all experience at one time or another in coping with the challenges of everyday life or confronted with new opportunities. It sometimes presents itself as a sense of feeling unprepared, unworthy, or even unqualified to take on the challenge before us. In most instances, we are able to overlook these moments of self-doubt and deal with the issue at hand. However, self-doubt becomes a problem when it begins to destroy our self-confidence, cripple creativity, and limits our willingness to accept new opportunities. If left unchecked it will bring the best of us down or prevent us from living up to our full potential.

Here are three suggestions to enhance your ability to overcome self-doubt:

1) Rid Yourself of Fear to Make Mistakes

Self-doubt is often grounded in fear of the unknown. Fear that we will make a mistake or do something wrong.  It is often fear of how we will be perceived by others if we fall short of their expectations. You will never become all that you can be if you remain afraid to make a mistake. Life doesn’t require us to be perfect and mistakes are stepping stones to learning.  So, don't allow mistakes to make you feel less than, rather, let them be your teacher. Successful people recover from their mistakes and become more stronger and successful than before. However, it requires a certain mindset to embrace mistakes as tools for success. It requires that you adopt a growth mindset.  People with a growth mindset are not afraid of mistakes.  In fact, they embrace mistakes as part of the learning process for personal growth and development.  These individuals tend to see mistakes as opportunities for improvement.  They openly take chances to pursue their goals no matter the failures they experience.  Lewis Alerson author of Growth Mindset suggests that folks with a growth mindset tend to believe that perfection is not a requirement for success and accept that they are allowed to make mistakes.  You will never grow unless you are willing to take risks. 

2) Take Control of your Emotions 

Uncontrolled emotions leads to unnecessary worry, frustration, anger, and self-doubt which impede our ability to make sound decisions.  This hinders our capacity to do things in our own best interest. We spend a lot of time second-guessing ourselves and seeking validation from others. We tend to delay taking action until circumstances force us to do so. As a result, we sell ourselves short and are forced to accept less than we deserve. Feelings of self-doubt are often driven by uncertainty of the unknown which makes it easy to stay within our comfort zone. Uncontrolled emotions will severely limit your ability to move forward in life if you allow them to.  To overcome emotional feelings of self-doubt, you must recognize when they they occur and understand that you have the ability to rise above them. Unfortunately, not enough of us are in touch with our emotions and have no idea why we feel the way that we do.  Here is where emotional intelligence, as it relates to self-awareness, is so vital to our ability to overcome feelings that stifle our growth and development. According to James Williams, emotionally intelligent people tend to acknowledge and process their feelings as they occur, instead of allowing them to build up.  They are more likely to deal with their current feelings about a situation and let them go.  Emotionally intelligent people are also able to shift their mindset and move on regardless of how they feel.  You too must go forward and do whatever you need to get done regardless of the feeling of self-doubt.  Emotional feelings can be very strong, and it is not always easy to pull away from them.  But, to be able to take your game to the next level you must behave contrary to these feelings of doubt.  Otherwise, they will continue to dictate your life and hold you in bondage.

3) Develop Mental Toughness

Always bet on yourself to deliver the goods. Bear in mind that, in any situation, you could either fail or succeed. So why not be optimistic about your ability to reach success.  It requires a certain level of mental toughness to keep pushing forward when things don’t seem to be going your way.  Mental toughness will give you the internal strength to take on any obstacle or challenge and to remain focused on your goal.  People with mental toughness don’t allow themselves to become distracted and go off course.  In the book Mental Toughness, Thomas Turner advocates that mentally tough people tend to believe that as long as they keep trying, they will succeed. Failure is never an option for them.  They always look for positive outcomes no matter their struggles and circumstances.  Purposefully lean towards the positive side of every situation.  It’s as simple as looking at the glass of water as half full instead of half empty.

The power to overcome self-doubt begins with you.  You must believe that you can achieve your destiny despite what other people say or society expects from you. Do not allow circumstances to dictate what you can achieve in life. Perhaps you had several bad breaks in life and negative messages were pumped into your head to promote self-doubt since you were a child, you now have the chance to turn it around. If you desire to fulfill your dreams, let go of self-doubt and move through the world with uncompromising confidence and will power.

Written by Dr. RL Kight for Mind Power Solutions.  Visit www.mindpowersolutions.com to learn more about our personal development and training services.

How to Persevere When Times Gets Hard

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Perseverance is hard to have sometimes. Things happen in everyday life that just make you want to crawl under a rock and hide. It becomes a challenge to stick our heads back out into the world where they may get chopped off in the process. This is what perseverance is all about. The determination to keep going, no matter what the odds. It is the character of many successful people. Many of whom were knocked down before they even got to the door, but today they are successful people with rich full lives.  We can all learn from the example of Ieshia Champs. She dreamed of becoming a lawyer as a child, but found herself homeless, a single mother of 5 children in her twenties, without a high school diploma.  By the age of 33, she had earned a GED and gone on to graduate with a law degree from Texas Southern University’s Thurgood Marshall School of Law.  She refused to allow life’s circumstances to hold her back and is now a practicing attorney.

A strong character is built around perseverance. It shows what you are made of when faced with an obstacle that you must overcome. Successful people are determined to achieve the goal they have laid out for their future. They keep striving to get there and will fight anybody and anything that gets in their way. They are determined to see a task through to completion and then they will sit back and reap the rewards.   Sylvester Stallone is a perfect example of someone who refused to quit.  Early in his career, he had every door closed on him as an actor. However, he did not let this deter his goal to enter the movie industry. Stallone banked on himself and wrote and starred in his own film Rocky and eventually went on to become one of the most successful actors.   

Refusing to give up doesn't mean that you will never fail. It just means that you may have to take the long way around instead of the shortcut. But don't stop believing that you can do what you set out to do. Refuse to quit just because the road became real steep and it is going to be a big drag to try to get to the top. The journey begins with the first step, so keep placing one foot in front of the other. Before long, you will look back and see all that you have accomplished on this journey called life. It will be a wonder that you got as far as you did and that you didn't stop when the times got really rough. 

Be a doer and a thinker. Instead of whining, come up with an achievable solution to your worst problem. This can start you on the road to confidence and self-esteem. If you decide you are unhappy, then you will live your life that way. But one morning, try to think happy thoughts and dream of a goal you want to achieve and you will be on your way. It may take many months or years to achieve, but you started by thinking it into existence as a goal to be earned.  Oprah Winfrey faced considerable hardships during her childhood. She has shared her story of being raped at the age of nine and becoming pregnant at age 14, baby did not live.  None of this prevented her from persevering. Oprah went on to become one of the wealthiest African Americans of the 20th century.

If you have things in your past that upset your future, try to contain them in one small part of your brain. Try to limit the contact you have with the bad memories of the past, let them go. They will just pull you down as you go through life. Living in the now is much better and less worrisome for people. The past is gone and there is nothing that can be done about it now. You can try to fix the mistakes you made by doing even better in the future. Everyone makes mistakes. Don't be so hard on yourself when you do. Take them for what they are as a life lesson. Learn from them and move on. Don't let one mistake ruin the rest of your life.  Personally, I was suspended from school in 9th grade for unruly behavior and fighting. This was a learning experience and turning point in my life.  I left this negative behavior behind and went on to become captain of the football team, president of the student government, and earned a full college scholarship.  Hence today, I have three college degrees, a successful career, and a beautiful family.

Make those hard decisions that are needed. They come about to test our mettle. Persevere and get through those challenges sent your way. This will show others what you can do. You may even have a few people ask you how you did it. Be honest and you may just be the one to start them on their journey. Take pride in that. Mentoring can be another goal that is very satisfying. Teaching someone else how you persevered through a bad situation can always help. To know we are not alone in the world is always a great feeling to have. To know someone else made it through, and now I can do it too is a wonderful way to teach someone about living.

Remember to take small steps on this long journey. Don't wear yourself out and try to do it all at once. Take your time and rest along the way. You will find that if you persevere, you can get to the finish line. 

Written by Dr. RL Kight for Mind Power Solutions.  Visit www.mindpowersolutions.com to learn more about our personal development and training services.