Think Big!

Think big! I'm sure you have a few bright ideas hidden somewhere in the back of your mind that you just can't wait to test out. These ideas could probably change your reality, but you just can’t seem to get them started. What’s stopping you from turning those creative, or even inspiring juices into action? An idea takes time to form in your head and some of your best ideas require you to think bigger than your current circumstance. 

You must focus on whatever you do to make your big thoughts doable and achievable.  This can help you realize things that were never thought possible.  To think big  can make the impossible, possible.  I once worked with a fundraiser who only asked donors for minimum $25,000 contributions.  One day I asked her why, she replied, “Why ask for $2,500 when there are only two answers - yes or no.”  She always received a donation of $25,000 or more. It showed me the value of thinking big.

Here are some tips to support your effort to think big.

• Take action towards living your life by design. Talk is cheap. Take action to fuel your passion to do something bigger than ever achieved before.   Without it, passion is void.  You must be intentional to make your vision a reality.

• Commit to yourself as well as those you love to create a life you can love. Instead of reacting, commit to creating from your heart and soul, out of faith rather than fear. Operate from a “can do” mindset with unwavering belief in yourself and the people in your inner circle.  Trust in your ability to achieve whatever you desire.  

• Recognize and embrace the thought that each moment is perfect regardless of its outcome. Every time you stumble on something that may appear too extreme, why not give it a shot and see if it will work. You will be surprised to discover multiple ways to get the task done.  If you are not pleased with the outcome, use the moment to learn from it and make appropriate adjustments. Value the lesson no matter the results.

• Live in a place of gratitude. I have learned to utilize whatever I have readily available and make use of it in the most constructive way. The world is as is and not what we desire it to be. I no longer wish for situations to be better or for the right time.  I embrace the moment for what it is and be thankful for being a survivor.  

• Use a Success Formula of Recognize/Reevaluate/Restore in place of the Shoulda/Woulda/Coulda whirlwind. The former is based in increased knowledge and abundance while the latter focuses on scarcity and lack. As you face tasks that may seem harder than anticipated, allow yourself to realize that the task is within your ability to make it happen.

• Keep a sense of humor at the forefront of your thoughts, laugh at and with yourself when possible. You may find yourself quite entertaining when you loosen up!  At least once a day I do something to laugh at myself.  I enjoy life so much more after realizing I didn’t have to take myself so seriously. Humor is life-giving.

• Believe that you are the architect of your destiny. No one can take your future from you except for you! Pursue life faithfully. If breath remains in your body, there is no end to how much you can accomplish in a lifetime.

The ability to think big is about enjoying what you do, while striving to achieve what seems impossible to others and believing its within your reach. It’s about looking beyond trivial circumstances and focusing on what’s important to achieving the goal.  So instead of subjecting yourself to a life of regret and resentment, make your own path and take the first step towards success. Watch everything flow into place just as you planned it.

Life is About Choices and the Decisions We Make →

Life is full of different roads. There are long and short roads; smooth and rocky roads; crooked and straight paths. Many roads will come our way as we travel through life. There are roads that lead to fame and fortune on one hand or isolation and poverty on the other. There are also roads to happiness as there are roads to sadness, roads towards victory and joy, and roads leading to defeat and disappointment.  Unfortunately, there is no certainty on whichever road we travel.  It tends to unfold like a mystery. 

Just like any road, there are corners, detours, and crossroads in life. Perhaps the most confusing road that you will encounter is a crossroad. With four directions to choose from and with limited knowledge on where they would go, which road will you take? What is the guarantee that we will choose the right one along the way? Would you take any road, or just stay where you are: in front of a crossroad?

There are no guarantees.

You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take it. There are no guarantees. This is one of the most important things you need to realize about life. Nobody said that choosing to do the right thing all the time will always lead you to happiness. Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it will be returned. Nope. Don't you remember the first heartbreak in elementary school?  According to the American Psychological Association, the marriage divorce rate is 40-50 percent in the United States.   Gaining fame and fortune does not guarantee happiness. Prince and Michael Jackson lives were perfect examples of how fame and fortune don't always lead to happiness. Getting a good letter of recommendation from an influential person to speed up your trip up the career ladder is not always bad, especially if you are highly qualified and competent.  There are too many possible outcomes, which you really cannot control. The only thing you have power over is the decisions that you will make, and how you will act and respond to different situations.

Wrong decisions are always revealed in hindsight.

Had you known that you were making a wrong decision, would you have gone along with it? Perhaps not, why would you choose a certain path when you know it would get you lost? Why make a certain decision if you know from the very beginning that it is not the right one? For instance, who would you have married the person they did knowing that it would end in a bitter divorce? It is usually only after we have decided and reflected on it that we realize its lack of soundness. If the consequences or outcomes are good for you, then you have decided correctly. Otherwise, if our decision was wrong, we must be prepared to endure the consequences.

Take the risk: decide.

You can't go through life playing it safe and expect to get somewhere.  Since life offers no guarantee and you will never know that your decision will be wrong until you have made it, then you might as well take the risk and decide. It is better than attempting to straddle the fence. Although it is true that one wrong turn could get you lost, it could also be that such a turn could be an opportunity for an experience of a lifetime, leading to unforeseen opportunities.  For instance, I took the chance of mailing in an Army ROTC marketing card from a magazine and it resulted in a full three-year scholarship and my being able to pursue my educational goal of earning a doctoral degree only having to pay $150 and not having to take out a student loan.  It is all a matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost wanderer or an accidental tourist of life.  But take caution that you do not make decisions carelessly. Taking risks is not about being careless and stupid. Here are some pointers that could help you choose the best option when confronted with life’s crossroads:

·        Get as much information as you can about your situation.

You cannot find the confidence to decide when you know so little about what you are faced with. Just like any good news reporter, ask the 5 W’s: what, who, when, where, and why. What is the situation? Who are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this leading? Why are you in this situation? These are just some of the possible questions to ask to know more about your situation. This is important because the fear of the unknown can paralyze us. Other times, the reason for indecision is the lack of information about a situation.

·        Identify and create options.

Every situation comes with a set of options. What options do the situation give you? Sometimes the options are few, but sometimes they are numerous. But what do you do when you think that the situation offers no options? This is the time that you create your own. Here is where you must rely on your creative mind. From the most simplistic to the most complicated, entertain all ideas. Do not shoot anything down when an idea comes to your head. Sometimes the most outrageous idea could prove to be the right one in the end. You can ask a friend to help you identify options and even make more options if you encounter some difficulty, but the ultimate decision is up to you in the end.

·        Weigh the pros and cons of every option.

Assess each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages it offers you. In this way, you get more insights into the possible outcome of each option.

·        Trust yourself and make that decision.

Now that you have assessed your options, it is now time to trust yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees and wrong decisions are always in hindsight.  So, choose… decide… believe that you are choosing the best available option at this point in time.

Once you have made a decision, be ready to face its consequences: good and bad. It may take you to a place of promise or to a land of problems. But the important thing is that you have chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander or a rear seat passenger to your own life. Whether it is the right decision or not, only time can tell. But do not second guess your decision whatever the outcome. Instead, learn from it and remember that you always have the chance to make a better decision in the future. Live with knowing you made the best available decision at the time based on available information. 

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Overcoming a Victim Mentality

We all experience setbacks and disappointments in life at one time or another. No matter how hard we try to avoid them - tragedy, hurt, and illness have a way of finding us. There are also times when our actions contribute to our own down fall. Other times, it’s like B. B. King use to sing about, “if I didn’t have bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all”.   We feel that bad things just seem to follow us no matter where we go or what we do. These day to day challenges can prevent us from reaching our full potential if we allow ourselves to fall prey to a victim mentality.

What does it mean to have a victim mentality? From my understanding, it’s a sense of being powerless to change or overcome what has happened or is happening within our lives.  It’s feeling trapped by past experiences that appear to keep holding us down.  It’s as if we are stuck in a rut with no possibility of creating a new beginning for ourselves and blaming others for our situation.

A victim mentality can easily happen to the best of us including yours truly. I recall when I was dismissed from my place of employment for the first time in my life during the "Great Recession".  This was a terrible blow to my morale and self confidence. I mentally went into a fog. Initially, I couldn't see my way to the next opportunity. How could this happen to me with a doctorate degree with years of experience. I had been a golden boy in which everything I touched tended to turn to gold. After months without being able to find suitable employment, I began to doubt myself and to question my qualifications. 

In order to stop this down slope,  I had to reach deep within to change my internal conversation. It wasn't a new one, but it was self talk that I had used throughout my life. I said to myself, "This is Robert Kight and there is nothing that I can't accomplish." My entire mindset and outlook about my situation began to change. I no longer viewed myself as being unemployed, but instead considered myself to be in a state of transition. My thoughts began to focus on possibilities to create new opportunities. My self-worth was not depended on the place of employment, but on my ability to make things happen. Before long I had found a new opportunity and I was back in the game

If you are reading this article and have a sense of feeling down and out or know someone who maybe going through a similar situation, I encourage you to change your internal conversation.  Focus on what you can do and how you have handled situations before. Refuse to give to the current situation.  As long as you are down and not out, you have the ability to pick yourself up and continue to compete. You are not a victim, but a winner with unlimited possibilities. Please share this blog with at least 10 other people that you think would benefit from this discussion.

Written by Dr. RL Kight for Mind Power Solutions at www.mindpowersolutions.com