Be an Optimist in This Time of Pessimism: Change Your Point of View

"Two men (people) look out through the same window: One sees the mud, and one sees the stars."- Frederick Langbridge, A Cluster of Quiet Thoughts

If you finish second place for a sought-after position, will you jump for joy and retool for a better outcome the next time or will you be discouraged and find an excuse not to pursue another position in the future?

In life, we are always faced with choices. We can opt to have a pessimist's view and live a self-defeated life or we can decide to take the optimist's point of view and live a challenging and fulfilling life. We must refuse to be defeated no matter the circumstance.

So why adopt an optimist's point of view? And why now at this stage of life?

Optimism has been linked to positive mood and good morale; to academic, athletic, military, occupational and political success; to popularity; to good health and even to long life and self-determination to best one can be.

We live in a time when the state of depression and pessimism is at an all-time high. The media feeds us a daily dose of doom and gloom which contributes to the pessimistic mindset. I recall coming to the train stop on the way to work the morning after the last presidential election, you would have thought the world was coming to an end. People were in a state of gloom as if their hopes, dreams and aspirations depended on who became president. Unfortunately, many still feel that way.

Here's how optimists are in action and research that back up why it pays to be an optimist:

Optimists tend to get the best out of life because they expect the best.

The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe the worst, which will last a long time and undermine everything they do. They have very little belief in their ability to take control of the situation.

Optimists are challenged with the same hard knocks of this world. What differs is the way they explain their setbacks ---it's the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its impact is limited and doesn't control their ultimate success. 

Optimists prefer to focus on and plan for the 'problem' at hand. They have a way of reframing the issue. In other words, they often turn a negative experience into an opportunity to help them learn and grow. These kinds of people are unfazed by bad situations, they view it is a challenge and understand they will have to work harder.

Optimists are very much in tune with the conversations they have with themselves and others. You are unlikely to hear them say "things will never get better," "If I failed once, it will happen again" and "It's over, my whole world is lost."

A positive mindset lead optimist to expect the best when faced with new situations, unforeseen tragedies and unlikely turn of events. It doesn't mean they have all the answers or won't fall short. If they fall, they simply pick themselves up. They see opportunities instead of obstacles.

People respond positively to optimists.

Optimists are proactive and less dependent on others for their happiness. They don't have a need to be validated by others. Also, they find no need to control or manipulate people. They have a way of drawing people towards them. Their optimistic view of the world can be contagious and influence those they are with.

Optimism seems a positive influence be it at home, work or play. Those who share optimism are generally accepted while those who spread gloom, panic, and uncertainty are shied away from.

Remember back in high school, the optimistic people were often the most popular; got voted most congenial and sought for information. At work, they tend to be the people given the best assignments and promotional opportunities.

When the going gets tough, optimists find a way to make it happen. They won't allow any situation to hold them back. They are not afraid to pursue the unknown.

Choose wisely your partner in battle.

Optimists typically maintain higher levels of personal well-being during times of stress than do people who are less optimistic. In contrast, pessimists are likely to react to stressful events by denying that they exist or by avoiding dealing with problems. Pessimists are more likely to quit trying when difficulties arise because they can't see a way out. Optimist realizes it's going to be a tough battle and commit to keeping on fighting even when the end results are uncertain.

They persevere. They just don't give up easily, they are also known for their patience. Inching their way, a step closer to that goal or elusive dream.

Optimists tend to be healthier and live longer.

Medical research has justified that simple pleasures and a positive outlook can cause a significant increase in the body's ability to fight disease.

Optimists' health is unusually good. They age well, finding themselves much more likely to be free from medical problems as they get older. And they tend to live longer than those prone to negative thoughts.

Like everybody else, you are bound to hit lows sometimes and make mistakes but don't just stay there. Pick yourself up from the mud and improve your chances of getting back on the right track. Let your actions inspire others to remove their dark-colored glasses and see life on the bright side.

Look forward to success in all your endeavors. Be resilient in all you do.

Visit www.mindpowersolutions.com and leave us a comment.

Life is About Choices and the Decisions We Make

Life is full of different roads. There are long and short roads; smooth and rocky roads; crooked and straight paths. Many roads will come our way as we travel through life. There are roads that lead to fame and fortune on one hand or isolation and poverty on the other. There are also roads to happiness as there are roads to sadness, roads towards victory and joy, and roads leading to defeat and disappointment.  Unfortunately, there is no certainty on whichever road we travel.  It tends to unfold like a mystery. 

Just like any road, there are corners, detours, and crossroads in life. Perhaps the most confusing road that you will encounter is a crossroad. With four directions to choose from and with limited knowledge on where they would go, which road will you take? What is the guarantee that we will choose the right one along the way? Would you take any road, or just stay where you are: in front of a crossroad?

There are no guarantees.

You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take it. There are no guarantees. This is one of the most important things you need to realize about life. Nobody said that choosing to do the right thing all the time will always lead you to happiness. Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it will be returned. Nope. Don't you remember the first heartbreak in elementary school?  According to the American Psychological Association, the marriage divorce rate is 40-50 percent in the United States.   Gaining fame and fortune does not guarantee happiness. Prince and Michael Jackson lives were perfect examples of how fame and fortune don't always lead to happiness. Getting a good letter of recommendation from an influential person to speed up your trip up the career ladder is not always bad, especially if you are highly qualified and competent.  There are too many possible outcomes, which you really cannot control. The only thing you have power over is the decisions that you will make, and how you will act and respond to different situations.

Wrong decisions are always revealed in hindsight.

Had you known that you were making a wrong decision, would you have gone along with it? Perhaps not, why would you choose a certain path when you know it would get you lost? Why make a certain decision if you know from the very beginning that it is not the right one? For instance, who would you have married the person they did knowing that it would end in a bitter divorce? It is usually only after we have decided and reflected on it that we realize its lack of soundness. If the consequences or outcomes are good for you, then you have decided correctly. Otherwise, if our decision was wrong, we must be prepared to endure the consequences.

Take the risk: decide.

You can't go through life playing it safe and expect to get somewhere.  Since life offers no guarantee and you will never know that your decision will be wrong until you have made it, then you might as well take the risk and decide. It is better than attempting to straddle the fence. Although it is true that one wrong turn could get you lost, it could also be that such a turn could be an opportunity for an experience of a lifetime, leading to unforeseen opportunities.  For instance, I took the chance of mailing in an Army ROTC marketing card from a magazine and it resulted in a full three-year scholarship and my being able to pursue my educational goal of earning a doctoral degree only having to pay $150 and not having to take out a student loan.  It is all a matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost wanderer or an accidental tourist of life.  But take caution that you do not make decisions carelessly. Taking risks is not about being careless and stupid. Here are some pointers that could help you choose the best option when confronted with life’s crossroads:

·        Get as much information as you can about your situation.

You cannot find the confidence to decide when you know so little about what you are faced with. Just like any good news reporter, ask the 5 W’s: what, who, when, where, and why. What is the situation? Who are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this leading? Why are you in this situation? These are just some of the possible questions to ask to know more about your situation. This is important because the fear of the unknown can paralyze us. Other times, the reason for indecision is the lack of information about a situation.

·        Identify and create options.

Every situation comes with a set of options. What options do the situation give you? Sometimes the options are few, but sometimes they are numerous. But what do you do when you think that the situation offers no options? This is the time that you create your own. Here is where you must rely on your creative mind. From the most simplistic to the most complicated, entertain all ideas. Do not shoot anything down when an idea comes to your head. Sometimes the most outrageous idea could prove to be the right one in the end. You can ask a friend to help you identify options and even make more options if you encounter some difficulty, but the ultimate decision is up to you in the end.

·        Weigh the pros and cons of every option.

Assess each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages it offers you. In this way, you get more insights into the possible outcome of each option.

·        Trust yourself and make that decision.

Now that you have assessed your options, it is now time to trust yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees and wrong decisions are always in hindsight.  So, choose… decide… believe that you are choosing the best available option at this point in time.

Once you have made a decision, be ready to face its consequences: good and bad. It may take you to a place of promise or to a land of problems. But the important thing is that you have chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander or a rear seat passenger to your own life. Whether it is the right decision or not, only time can tell. But do not second guess your decision whatever the outcome. Instead, learn from it and remember that you always have the chance to make a better decision in the future. Live with knowing you made the best available decision at the time based on available information. 

Visit www.mindpowersolutions.com to learn more about our personal development and training services.

Source: WWW.Mindpowersolutions.com